We all know Marvel Universe didn’t gain popularity overnight, it was due to their hard work and creation of relatable and entertaining superheroes. There are countless superheroes with different superpowers that make Marvel Universe so interesting. But not every superhero was a hit.
Throughout their journey, they obviously made a few flop, boring superheroes, or we can say less-than-super-heroes. But these misfires helped them in analyzing their way, creating a perfect superhero universe.
Here are 10 Marvel Universe characters who were simply useless and shouldn’t have made it to the printed page, and who you’ll (hopefully) never see in any movie or television show… unless it’s a comedy at their expense.
Inspired by reports of the East Coast’s costumed crime-fighters, muscular trucker Buford Hollis became Razorback and established himself as a hero and minor celebrity in his native Arkansas. His powers include mutant ability to drive or pilot any vehicle (all of which he nicknames “big pig”). His headpiece is electrified but wearing an oversized furry helmet that limits mobility and peripheral vision is not so advantageous. And let’s be real, when you’re in a universe with multiple characters that are capable of destroying worlds, an expert wheelman really isn’t all that helpful.
9) NFL Superpro
The ’90s were full of questionable creative choices in comics, Marvel was trying to create all types of superheroes that might interest the fans, but this collaboration between NFL and Marvel was not very exciting.
Phil Grayfield was a football player who suffered a knee injury. After the injury sidelines football player Phil’s career, he turns to sports journalism. But sitting on the sidelines isn’t Phil’s style, and after he witnesses a crime, he becomes NFL Superpro, wearing an indestructible sports uniform.
This character made no sense and unsurprisingly, was short-lived, ending after only 12 issues. If you’re wondering why Marvel would ever green-light such a lame character, NFL Superpro creator Fabian Nicieza admitted the ugly truth: his sole motivation was free NFL tickets.
8) The Thunderer
Radio operator Jerry Carstairs developed his own costume with a built-in speaker system loud enough to shock and deafen any one crossing his path; he stepped out and began fighting injustice as the Thunderer.
His powers basically consisted of a built-in microphone allowing him to hurt your eardrums by yelling at you, not very exciting. He could also knock down the occasional building if he turned up the volume, but that’s not a terribly effective way to stop the bad guys without hurting civilians. His adventures were limited to tales like fighting an evil deformed dwarf who killed attractive people using Morse Code.
Doug Ramsey’s mutant power gave him the ability to understand and speak any language. While that is a mighty impressive skill that would definitely come in handy in globalist society, but in the superhero world, it was simply useless. Comic book readers didn’t like him and wanted the writers to have him killed off, and they listened. But as we know comic book deaths are not permanent, he was eventually resurrected. Even his new powers (advanced computer skills and the ability to sense structural weakness in buildings) continue to underwhelm.
This X-Men member has the unique ability of being both weird and lame at the same time. This odd mutant has a most unusual digestive system. It houses two slugs who are able to leave his body, eat anything they want, then crawl back into his guts, helping him grow in size, stamina, and speed. During the process, his skin turns blue and his eyes turn red.
There’s another rule: the slugs must enter through his stomach in a meticulously precise manner to be effective. Maggot also has psychometric power– he’s able to see things from the recent past or the immediate future. And the grotesque delivery system for him to eat and gain strength takes him out of the action during critical moments.
5) The Phone Ranger
What can you expect from a superhero called The Phone Ranger? Well, worse than what you expect. A.G. Bell, a telephone repairman with a sense of social duty; at least his heart was in the right place. He certainly had a unique origin story: after helping a customer with a broken phone, he discovered the phone housed a distress signal from an alien race. He then used the alien technology to create a suit that gave him his lackluster abilities.
While wearing the suit, Bell was able to connect with any telecommunications device in existence, enabling him to be the first responder to 911 calls. But there was a small problem, he was just an ordinary telephone repairman with no extraordinary abilities. And due to this fact, he died in the line of duty.
4) Ulysses Solomon Archer (U.S. 1)
Ulysses Archer was a character created to shamelessly promote Tyco’s U.S. 1 slot car toy-line. He had a curious origin story that begins with the title character surviving a nasty car accident. After the accident, Archer receives experimental surgery on his cranium. This outcomes in a metal skull that gives him an extraordinary ability to pick up CB radio transmission in his brain. with this unique gift and a tricked out big rig, he becomes a seeker of highway justice, chasing The Highwayman, a villain involved in his car accident.
3) Hindsight Lad
Hindsight Lad was a part of the New Warriors, a group of teenage superheroes that were introduced in the late 80’s. Carlton LaFroyge was blessed with no special powers, except one: the ability to analyze how things could have gone better after a failed mission.
Yes, Hindsight Lad was “that guy,” a know-it-all who only tells you what you need to know after it is too late to be of any use. He is arguably the most punchable character in the Marvel Universe, all because of his doings, doxxing his former teammates, and laundering official Avengers funds to buy himself a costume.
2) Almighty Dollar
J. Pennington Pennypacker AKA the Almighty Dollar, was actually a CPA by day and costumed hero by night. He had an unusual ability to fire pennies out of his wrists. His tagline was that he can “throw money at my problems.” Almighty Dollar was the embodiment of the terrible creative decision made by Marvel in collaborating with the NFL. He may have be named the Almighty Dollar, but he sure couldn’t sell comics.
This character is a huge disappointment, he has no abilities, no superpowers, he’s just blue. Jazz is just a blue guy who likes to rap. On top of that, he is not very good at rapping too.
He eventually turned to selling drugs. He wasn’t good at that either. He was eventually killed by a voodoo doll. A fitting end for one of the most cursed characters in Marvel history.