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Guilty Pleasure: 10 Most Unrealistic Heist Movies We All Love To Watch But Won’t Admit it

Heist movies are so freaking riveting to watch. But the best of the lot make no rational sense. Do we hate them for it? Hell no!!

Army Of The Dead

Zack Snyder’s zombie heist thriller is lauded by fans for its visuals and well-paced narrative. But the setting itself is way too unrealistic. A team of mercenaries enter a city infested with zombies to enter a secret vault. The vault holds millions of dollars the team must retrieve before a nuclear strike takes down the whole city. Also there are a lot of booby traps and hidden anti-theft mechanisms that makes the vault akin to one of Indiana Jones’ ancient temples.

The Hurricane Heist

The Hurricane Heist involves a group of rogue treasury agents who are on a mission to rob the Federal Reserve. The catch – a category 5 hurricane is coming to end them all. When their access codes don’t work, they kidnap an agent and make do. In reality, a heist in the backdrop of an incoming disaster would be next to impossible.

Now You See Me 2

Can magic be used to successfully pull of a heist? That’s what Now You See Me 2 tells us. If you know sleight of hand techniques and petty parlor tricks, you are more than what it takes to steal a highly guarded secret micro-chip capable of hacking any computer system in the world. Tricks don’t help pull heists, ladies and gentlemen.

Tower Heist

Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy star in this comedy heist thriller. A group of disgruntled employees who lost their pensions to a Ponzi scheme decide to rob the man responsible. When they get into his apartment, they realize there is no hard cash there. The guy has put all his money turning his prized mustang in the middle of the room into solid gold. Thy use the window cleaning platform to bring the car to the lower floor where they use the elevator to bring the mustang to the ground. No one is supposed to notice because it is Thanksgiving.

American Animals

A Transylvanian University art student is given a tour of the institution’s collection of incredible rare and expensive books. He realizes he can easily steal a few and sell them off for money. He even manages to do so but gets caught when the FBI raid his and his accomplices’ homes by tracking them down via their emails.

Logan Lucky

How did Jimmy know the giant vacuum would work in a room that big? And one more fact everyone overlooked was Jimmy left a fine trail of bread crumbs for the cops to reach to him. Wasn’t he just fired from a job working at the same place where the robbery happened? And how come he knew the protocol followed by the racetrack cashiers so well? It doesn’t add up but we never cared.

Fast Five

How can we make a list about unrealistic heists and not include the infamous Rio Heist from Fast Five? A bunch of cars drag a literal vault through the roads of Rio. The vault is used like a wrecking ball, ripping through buildings and the asphalt. The heist is in no way believable. But would we have it any other way?

National Treasure

The heist involving stealing the Declaration of Independence leaves an awful lot to chance and assumptions. Ben Gates predicts how a green laser would lead the museum authorities to take the document to an underground vault, which would be then left unattended to because a huge party is happening upstairs. Also ben Gates was actually carrying his wallet with his own ID while using a fake name. Not might smart of a master heist planner.

Den Of Thieves

Den of Thieves is a lot of stuff. A believable heist movie, it is not. Produced by 50 Cent, a group of lovable misfits are on the verge of robbing the Federal Reserve (somehow this institution is targeted in a lot of heist movies – they really need to do some marketing to clear the doubts). The movie is riddled with plot holes. For starters – why would Federal Employees raver about the fine details of their jobs when drunk in a bar. They are Federal Employees, not Circus Clowns!!

Furious 7

It is pretty much safe to assume that the Fast & Furious franchise has gone from unrealistic to downright high octane fantasy. Take for example Furious 7, the seventh instalment in the franchise. The movie involves Dom and co infiltrating a billionaire’s party in Abu Dhabi and stealing a car containing God’s Eye. Dom literally makes the car jump from one skyscraper to another. While they are riveting to watch, they are not possible no matter how strong Dom is because of ‘Family’.

Written by Bibhu Prasad Panda

You do not wanna know. I could be a psychopath.