It’s a difficult task to make Hollywood icons as beautiful and charismatic as Chris Evans and Ana de Armas unappealing and unpleasant to watch; however, that’s exactly what Ghosted accomplishes in the new film coming to Apple TV+ on April 21. It’s a romantic action-comedy that misses on each element of the trifecta. The laughs are minimal, the action is unimpressive and the romantic chemistry is non-existent. Yet, there is an overwhelming watchability present throughout the film’s nearly two-hour runtime. And with a straight-to-streaming star-studded popcorn flick, sometimes that’s all you really need.

The Plot

Cole Turner (Chris Evans) is a recently single bachelor who has a bad habit of caring too much. His clingy and needy nature is what ended his last relationship. So, when he meets Sadie (Ana de Armas) and the two have a nearly perfect first date, he’s determined not to make the same mistakes. However, when Sadie stops responding to Cole’s texts, his clingy behavior seems impossible to control. He’s been Ghosted. On a whim, he leaves the country to track down the woman of his dreams in what he intends to be a grand, romantic gesture. But, when it’s revealed that Sadie is a deadly secret agent working for the C.I.A., the two must work together to survive the clutches of an international arms dealer.

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The Critique

When I first heard that Chris Evans and Ana de Armas were starring in a romantic-comedy titled Ghosted, I imagined a supernatural story featuring one of the duo as a ghost. And that — quite frankly — sounds like a significantly better film than the one we received. Perhaps the film’s biggest flaw, and the one that it will likely be most widely criticized for, is the launching event for the entire story. Cole’s behavior is beyond creepy. Traveling from the United States to England in order to follow a girl you just met, who is not returning your texts, after “accidentally” leaving a tracking device in her purse is the strangest and most extreme stalker behavior they could have chosen for a romantic lead.

The film’s title, Ghosted, comes from a slang-term referring to the moment one half of a romantic couple or prospect stops communicating with the other one suddenly. It’s a fairly common and well-known term. Yet, the film wants to make sure that you make the connection by awkwardly forcing the definition into dialogue early on. It feels unnatural and acts as a bad omen of the continued poor, unnatural writing and dialogue that will follow for the remainder of the of the film.

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There’s a certain level of leeway awarded to these types of films. “Turn off your brain and enjoy the ride” types of movies are typically seen as fun and enjoyable popcorn flicks. Their flaws can be forgiven for the sake of entertainment. However, viewing Ghosted through this lens proves nearly impossible or, at the very least, incredibly difficult because its many flaws are so intertwined with its centerpiece entertainment moments. It wants desperately to have one solid needle-drop moment that follows a hit, high-energy pop song directly into an epic action moment. It wants this so badly that it attempts it four or five times (minimum), with none of them working. I don’t care how toe-tapping My Sharona is, it’s not elevating the lame and poorly executed car chase.

In Conclusion

Ghosted never hits the bullseye it’s aiming for. Honestly, it doesn’t even come that close to the bullseye. But its shots are at least on the target, as sporadic and wild as they may be. It’s a movie that mistakes cameos (of which there are several) for solid story telling, and wants you to care about its characters while simultaneously making them unbearable. Would I recommend it to a friend? I might actually. With the warning that it’s flaws are plentiful, but that there are worse ways to spend an evening than sitting at home and watching a new film with Chris Evans and Ana de Armas.

5/10